The following is a true story, only the names have been changed, to protect the guilty.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Swamp Thing

























In the past couple weeks I've traded bike time for some kayak time. Specificly to check out the flooded backwaters of the %$^%$$&^%# river. The first trip was a solo ride deep into the swamps. I'm not much of a wildlife guy in that I search it out but when the animals are all around you it's really cool. I saw a gigantic snapping turtle that looked more like an alligator. Also were lots of birds including eagles, lots of turtles, beavers, and muskrats.



A few days later my friend Tom was in town from Utah and had some time for adventure. Since I don't have a bike in his size, my wife's sea kayak would be the perfect fit. We ended up pushing farther into the swamp then I did last time. I was looking for a route that I could paddle during the upcomming full moon so I could hide my gear safely in the daylight and return by bike after dark. I found the route and will be hoping for a clear night on the next full moon.


The third trip was with Dale. The river was up even higher this time. As a result the road was closed to the put in so we ran the route in the reverse direction from the previous two outings. The higher water enabled us to check out some other areas previously inaccesable. After revealing my afterhours plan, Dale has been put on the roster for the full moon tour. We are also planning a steak BBQ at his house before our moonlit stealth ride in the swamp. I am also looking for other attendees for this trip, all that is required is a short kayak, related gear and a bike.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Levis-Trow Mound

"Y" negotiating a long skinny


Big D on same skinny




Lynn riding the Sidewinder Trail





G-man showing how it's done



A portion of Memorial weekend 2011 was spent at the Levis-Trow mound trailhead. We got to tryout our new pop-up camper and ride some sweet trails. This was our second trip to the trails. we arrived Friday night and set up just before it started raining. It rained all night. By Minnesota MTB trail standards that would mean no rides for us. That was not the case however, Levis has alot of sand and dries out very quickly. We met up with D and S along with D's daughter N Saturday morning after Lynn and I took our crew out for about an hour ride on the easier flat trails. Having young kids and two adults trying to get time to sneek rides in when ever possible means taking turns watching them. We decided Lynn,D ,and S would ride first,I would take all four kids and then ride by myself in a few hours. No problem, since mom was gone we raided the junk food bin and set off on a hike to Porky Point. We found lots of porcupine poop and a very nice lookout at the top. We then headed back, ate more junk food at camp,I relaxed and the kids made lots of mud from a hose faucet at the trail center. After Lynn,D and S got back I headed out. My goal was to ride all the trails,and go as hard as I could, since I had no one to ride with what else would I do, besides that I'm a racer this is training. I did ride nearly everthing in about 2hours 40 min. I tried to ride with some groups but they stopped too much.




Later that night after the kids went to bed and D,S,and N headed for their hotel Lynn and I hung out by a fire with the campers next to us. They were a great group of guys, everyone got along well and it seemed as if we allready knew each other for years.




The next morning D, S and N came back for some more riding before we all went home. This time I would get to ride with my lovely wife.(something that has not been possible for years). We went to Sidewinder and Toad Road,which has a really cool boardwalk between a crack in a rock outcropping. The pace was good and it was fun to ride with someone else for a change.




By 2pm we were packed and ready to head out. On the way home we made the customary fast food stop and a detour to Target for some BEYBLADES battle tops for the kids.




Saturday, May 14, 2011

Almanzo 2011

























After 3 good years for me at Almanzo I guess it was time for some really shitty weather. I DNF'd but got a few good pics. One is of the two other pansies that didn't finish with me. Pete S and my BFF (big fat friend) Mark V. Misery loves company right? This was only after 40 miles,but looks like 1000.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Arizona 2011

Buckskin Gulch near Paria confuence


Boulder jam in Buckskin Gulch




Bridge over Colorado River

Bright Angel trail Grand Canyon






Our home for a week Sedona AZ








Resting on a cactus with Chris










Monday, May 2, 2011

Arizona Dream

I thought the day would never come when Dale and I planned the trip to Arizona back in early March for a slot canyon adventure with some MTB riding thrown in. But I boarded the plane on Friday morning April 22 early, ready for as much fun as I could handle. Dale purchased a truck in Phoenix, for his business, that we would be driving back home to Minnesota. Our friend Chris also joined in for some fun and was waiting at the airport from an earlier flight that moring. Long story short, we picked up the truck, then bikes, assembled them at REI parking lot, bought maps, fuel,and other goodies at REI, ate giant burrito then headed for MTB trails near Fountain Hills. I have never been to Arizona, ridden in the desert,or seen a saguaro cactus in person so the riding was a bit surreal. The temp was around 90 and the massive burrito was boiling in my guts but I still had a great time. After the ride we headed for Sedona. We got there really late and had trouble finding a spot to camp. We were on a ghetto budget and would not be staying at one of the ritzy over priced hotels in the area. Around 1am we found a parking lot that we could stay at without hassle from the po-po. I know because I asked one of them as we were driving through town for the 2nd 3rd or 10th time. In the morning we awoke to a beautiful canyon with a creek. Dale got up really early and was gone so Chris and I went for a hike of our own down to the creek. It was very quiet and peasefull, unlike the same area in about five hours. After breakfast we headed out for a ride. Not far into the ride Chris jammed his knee into a Yucca plant and the spine broke off and would not come out. I felt like it was my fault, it happend when he was taking my picture with my camera. We rode into town in search of the urgent care. After finding it we left Chris in the care of a wonderfull blind incompetent doctor. What did we care?we had to get our ass to the Sedona MTB festival. This thing was a fucking joke and a total flop. When we got to the abandoned lot next to a busy highway all we got was alot of stares from the snobby pricks under the TWO tents. Yes thats right two whole tents filled with snobs for this awesome festival. While we waited for a ride to materialize we talked to some crazy old geezer about the vortexes in the area. We both had to hold back the laughing as we were fed this steaming crock of shit. Soon the ride started, we endured the usual "I'm from a mountain state, your a flatlander, do you even have trails there" bullshit that seens common whenever I go out west. The ride was pretty good as I rode off the front to prove us flatlanders know how to ride. After the ride it was time to meet up with Chris. I was so bumbed I didn't have the time to look for a Sedona MTB festival jersey 2011 as I'm sure this is really going to take off and I want to prove I was part of it the first year. We got the hell out of Dodge after downing some caffiene while admiring the traffic jam down the main street.
Next was the Grand Canyon. It only took 36 years for me to see it and I was truly amazed. We arrived an hour or so before dark and wanted to ride to the rim from our campsite. Chris's knee was in bad shape now and prevented him from walking and riding. Dale informed Chris that he would be removing the spine from his knee after Dale and I returned from the rim and it would be best if he was drunk by then. Dale and I spent some time taking pictures and checking things out at the rim. When we returned Chris was ready, 9 beers down and 2 to go. He didn't get it out but enjoyed using his snake bite kit, latex gloves, knife, and whatever else he found in the first aid kit.
The next morning the plan was to ride out to the South Kaibab Trailhead and hike as far down the trail as posible with the ultimate goal to make it to the Colorado and back. Dale and I figured Chris would not be able to make it far,but he did very well on the short ride and seemed to be getting around quite well. At the trailhead we met a guy who thought we would have no problem making our goal to the bottom and back. He would be the only one to encourage our plan. Numerous signs and other hikers warned us of the danger of such a feat. None of these people or signs know us or what we are capable of. We were cooling our feet in the river about three hours later. We decided to take a different route back to check out Phantom Ranch and hike out on the Bright Angel Trail. From Phantom Ranch we each sent a post card to our families and relaxed in the lodge built in 1928. On our hike out we passed through the campground and wished we were staying the night, partly out of fatigue but mostly because it was such a cool place. Hiking out was about 2 miles longer than the way down and the terrain was very different. The Kaibab was dry and had little plant life while Bright Angel was lush and green, we even saw a rattle snake near Indian Garden (another camping area). We made it to the rim at 6:30 pm, 8 hours and 50 minutes to complete the 16-17 mile hike.








The next day was a much needed rest day with most of it spent driving the the next adventure. We passed through Page AZ on our way to meet my good friend Tom F at the Paria Canyon Trailhead. Our plan for the following day was to shuttle a car and ourselves to Wire Pass where we would then hit Buckskin Gulch, camp a couple nights and hike back up the Paria to our waitng truck. Buckskin Gulch was the whole reason the trip came together. It's claimed to be the longest slot canyon in the world at 20 + - miles and known as one of the top ten backpack trips. It truly lived up to all the hype others have created. It had sections of waste deep standing water, quicksand, canyon walls 300 feet high and as narrow as 6 feet, wide sections with an oasis of trees and long green grass, and boulder jams 30 feet high. The hike was amazing, so much so that it was hard to take it all in (thank god for the camera). At roughly mile 7 we climbed out the Middle Route to reveal the scoured landscape above, rough red rock and sand as far as you can see. A few hours later we would arrive at camp exhausted and completely blown away by the beauty and magnitude of the canyon. Our camp was near the confuence of Buckskin and Paria, walled in by 300 foot cliffs but elevated about 30 feet above the canyon floor. It was a high sandbar complete with trees and bright green grass.


the next day the plan was to go down the Paria for a day hike and return to camp another night. The Paria had calf deep water a little warmer than freezing . We decided to cancel the day trip and break camp. We still had to endure a good hour plus walking up steam in the frigid water. This part sucked I could not feel my feet but kept moving until the canyon was shallow enough for the sun light to reach a sand bar on the canyon floor. We stopped for a long time to soak up the warmth until feeling returned to our feet. Onward we marched, happy that the river was warmer but sad that each step brought us closer to the end of this amazing place.


The rest of the trip was more driving than fun, but we manged to have fine mexican meal with Tom before we headed for home and Tom headed to Vegas to meet his wife. On the way home we stopped to see the Four Corners and buy some Navajo souvenirs. We also stopped in Durango for one last ride where Dale made the realization that he did not suck at riding and that the bike he just bought was shipped one size too big. Special Thanks to Dale, Chris, and Tom for accompanying me on an awesome adventure. Extra special thanks to Dale for buying all the diesel for the truck.








The Middle Route










Four Corners












Monday, April 18, 2011

Ragnarok 111 (90) 2011




I really wasn't feeling the Rag this year as well as Mark V so we decided to just ride it together. At about 60 miles Mark was calling uncle after a very large climb and fighting to stay with our group since the start of the race. We were doing pretty well when we decided to pull the plug at 60 miles. We didn't realize it would be over 30 miles more riding to get back to the truck. I hate quitting and very very rarely do so. On our way back we crossed a road that intersected the race course. Adding salt to a wound we passed the very same group of riders we had parted ways with 45 minutes earlier. One of them being a bonafide DBD member. Facing head on as he passed by I could feel the lazer beam like stare piercing my soul. Failure! I could do nothing but hang my head as I watched him ride away along with all my hopes and dreams of ever becoming a member of the society I so wished to be part of.


On a lighter note we did have a good relaxing ride back to the truck which included some stops and some sightseeing. We found a great fixer-upper camper that was washed up on shore of the Zumbro River. I'm going back for it when I have about 1000 hours to dedicate for it's restoration.

Friday, March 11, 2011

North Shore Man trip 2011

This year for the man trip we added some new stuff into the mix. Dale and I left Thursday morning and got in a ride on the Split Rock River. The snow kind of sucked and it wasn't super nice out but we had fun anyway. This was Dale's first time ever on a real snow bike and he did very well. After the ride we headed for our traditional camping spot on the @#$%^&# River. The snow was deep and it took quite a long time to dig out a spot for the tent. My tent has a wood stove so staying comfortable inside is no problem, often it is too warm. Mark showed up around 11pm I think, and decided to stay in his truck for the night. That was a good thing, Dale brought nearly everthing he owned into the tent so there wasn't much room for him anyway.

The next morning we headed for Lutsen to do some snowboarding. Dale skiied but we didn't hold that against him. I don't ride much so my skills are not that great. On the way up north I bought a helmet and gave it a good test on the way down my first run. Mark saw the whole thing and said my head bounced a couple feet. My head was fine but my ass hurt so bad I thought I would shit. That set the tone for the day, after that I was a little timid and blamed it on my board. Torwards the end of the day I felt better and had a great time. After Lutsen we headed to Grand Maris for dinner. At some point Dale mentioned the municipal pool in town so we checked it out and Friday happened to be dollar night. We headed to the Ben Franklin bought some shorts and a ninja throwing star (for protection of course), ate dinner and went back to the pool. The hot tub and sauna were worth everey one of those 100 pennies.

Troy,JJ,and Cory arrived late friday night and were ready to go Saturday morning for the ride down the #$^%^%$ river. The last two years down the river were so good I think it spoiled us. This year the snow was deeper and the perfect snowshoe track was not very well walked in. We made it about 2 miles, half as far as years past. It was colder this year and riding was more of a struggle to stay upright. The scenery on the other hand did not dissapoint.
Next we headed for the Devil Track river, shuttled some cars for our return trip and were ready to go. I've done this river a dozen times in the last 9 years and it's always good. This year the snow was really deep so it took longer to do,which i like because it's so fun I don't want the trip to end. We made it to the rappell point in about an hour and a half and spent a good hour getting our selves and equipment down safely. When I looked over the edge it sounded as if the water was running right under the spot where we were going to rap. Thats not good, cosidering the plunge pool below the rap. needs to be frozen in order for us to continue on our mission. For some reason I was going to be first. The plan was to go over the edge check it out, and if it was not doable the five guys up top would have to try and pull me back up. As I lowered myself past the point of no return I could see the bottom was frozen and the sound of the rushing water was echoing off the canyon walls in a way that it made it seem like the water was rushing under us. I made it down and called back the all clear. I took some good photos of the others comming down, including Dale who had never rappelled before (great job). We contiued on to the vehicles parked at HWY 61 at a faster pace. I think everyone was cold and wanted to generate some heat. Once at the road I suggested we ride the last section we just skiied from the road to the falls since we got shafted on our earlier ride. The contions for the snow bikes were perfect so we all agreed. We hauled ass to retreive the vehicles and returned for the ride. The ride up and back was incredible and fast. we returned in the dark and headed for Sven and Olies. After dinner it was like pulling teeth to get everyone onboard for our preplanned fire either on the beach up near Croftville on on the %$^%$^$ river. Mark decided he was too tired for more fun and opted out. the rest of us headed north. The wind was the determining factor for us to decide on the river. A ten minute hike up river was a good spot we had checked out earlier that weekend. In 15 minutes we had a fire that would raise the devil. We lounged around and told stories until we started dozing off, then headed back to base camp. Back at camp Cory locked his keys in his car while it was running. An hour later master locksmiths Troy and JJ had it open. 1:30 am I finally get to go to bed, and thanks to Dale I fall asleep in a 90 deg tent.


The next morning everyone is ready to be done, Cory left super early so he could get home for lunch, and the rest of us pack up and figure out one more adventure for the way home. Mark wants to ride to Carlton Peak from Tofte, we agree but he has to take a shit so he leaves without us but says he'll wait at the gas station. An hour later we get to the station and Mark is gone, he ended up riding by himself to the peak. Meanwhile the four that are left head for Split rock river and do a two hour ride. Conditions are better than Thursday so we head as far upstream as we can and turn back. We finish the ride out to the beach at the mouth of the river throw some rocks and relax for a while. That concludes Man Trip 2011. I have some new exciting and different plans for 2012 as long as the Mayan calendar is wrong and the whole world doesn't blow up